Blow jobs, they don’t call them jobs for nothing. Sex toys can enhance a bj, or just take some of the work out of it. Between keeping a rhythm, trying to not scrap your partner with your teeth, attempting to produce the perfect amount of suction , on top of wondering how much hand action is too much! BJs can sometimes end up being a little more complicated than they are fun. The most important thing to know is that enthusiasm is one of the key ingredients to satisfying oral sex, and it is way easier to feel enthusiastic when you have the right tools.
Love them or hate them, there’s ways to make it take some of the work out of it, or just expand the pleasure of your partner. There are two typical categories: products to help you out and products to help you mix things up. At the end of the day, you have to want to give your partner pleasure. It ideally should not be about feeling obligated to perform. Toys are about thinking about making it more fun and creative for you. It makes you a bigger part of the process.
Even if you’re the master at giving head, there’s always room for improvement! Introducing sex toys into your blowjob routine can add novelty, excitement, and extra stimulation.
Anatomy and Techniques
Genitals? Most people think that a penis and a vagina are about as different as can be. The genitals emerge from the same mass of embryonic tissue. For the first six weeks of development, the tissue masses develop identically. At about six to seven weeks, depending on whether the fetus has XX or XY chromosomes (usually), the tissues start to differentiate. One part of the tissues begins to form the clitoris or penis and another forms the labia or scrotum. Another area begins to form into either the testes or the ovaries. This means that physiologically, genitals are made of the same stuff and work in similar ways.
The head of the penis and head of the clitoris are primarily responsible for orgasms. For a penis, the lateral tubercle grows during development to form the shaft. For a vulva and vagina, the growth of the lateral tubercle is less dramatic, resulting in the formation of a comparatively smaller corpus clitoris (body of the clitoris). The internal makeup of external genitalia has one major thing in common – cavernous tissue. This is what becomes engorged with blood during sexual arousal for the penis as well as the clitoris. While the tissue is the same, people are super varied in their sexual preferences and kinks. So keep in mind that all genitals are different, no matter what their gender is. Communicate with your partner with what you like and dislike to get maximum pleasure and ignore “what’s normal”
Techniques
Now that you understand how alike genitals are, thinking about using a vibrator on any body makes more sense.
- Stroking and squeezing is more effective on the shaft of a penis
- The frenulum is the little wrinkle of skin where the shaft joins the head. Teasing that part with vibrators or your tongue feels great
- Pressure on the taint can put pressure on the prostate indirectly, so using the pads of your fingers or a broad shaped vibrator feels best there.
- The head is most sensitive, so flicking with your tongue or putting stimulating oil on the head is where that works best.
Fluttery Vibes
The Je Joue Rabbit Bullet smooth and supple bunny ears create unique sensations as they stroke and move against the skin. Great for surrounding nipples, or lightly dragging the fluttering ears under the head of a penis, the perineum, or any other sensitive areas you please with vibration. Or try the Fun Factory Volta for a powerful motor with The unique tips that are designed to flicker and quiver. Want to try the fluttery sensation but want to try a more affordable version? The Fun Factory Volita is a battery operated, one speed, vibe that can let you test the waters.
Wands and ergonomic vibes
Wands with their broad shaped head are perfect for putting under the sensitive head of a penis to stimulate it. Or you can add a sleeve so you can use your powerful wand vibrator to stroke a penis. The We Vibe Wand comes with an amazing powerful wand, a fluttery sleeve, a penis sleeve, and access to an app. Check out the Hummingbird sleeve if you like softer strokers that surround the shaft, or the le wand loop for a firmer silicone stroker and you already own a standard size wand since We Vibe doesn’t sell their wand attachment desperately.
Look for toys that are ergonomically shaped like the Kiki Flex, Dame Pom, or Mimi soft. The curve can be used to perfectly stroke a shaft of a penis with it’s deep, broad vibration. It also fits easily into your hand, making it very intuitive to using it during your play. If you want pinpoint vibration, its tip lets you put all your focus on one spot. Great for the shaft, balls, the perineum, butthole, the list goes on and on.
Strokers
When you use a sleeve to stroke a penis, the ribbing, beading, or other texture in the sleeve’s tunnel is going to do most of the work for you! The sensation of your hand going up and down a shaft is already amazing, so adding extra sensation is going to be a fun experience. Strokers are typically made out of soft, stretchy material that can feel incredible, especially when you pair it with a slick and long-lasting lubricant like Sliquid Satin.
Adding a stroker that’s open on both ends like the Fleshlight Quickshot Pulse or the Sono Sleeves means you can stroke your partner’s shaft while still teasing the head of their penis with your tongue, lips and mouth. If your jaw is getting tired, or if you just want to mix it up, try bringing in a penis vibrator like the Fun Factory Manta. While you’re using your lips and tongue on the head of the penis, a vibrator can provide added sensations to the shaft. This way The Receiver is getting attention to their whole penis, but for The Giver it’s less work than attending to the whole penis with only their mouth.
If you want to just try out some new sensations during a hand job, think about adding a Tenga Egg. They are soft, stretchy, squishy hollow eggs with a hole at the bottom. You pour a little lube into the hole, put them over the head of a penis, then use them to give your partner an amazing hand job – each one has a different texture inside it, to add different sensations to your movements. The ‘hard boiled’ varieties give stronger sensations than the classic editions, and you can also use different lubricants (warming, cooling, or extra helpings for a sloppier, slippier, more blow-job-esque feel and sound).
Rings
Rings are worn around the base of the penis, behind the balls to make erections harder, bigger, and longer-lasting. They come in different materials, from flexible silicone and rubber to leather and metal. The rings allow blood to flow into the erection, but not back out so it traps all the blood making things more sensitive and engorged. The stretchy rings are the best bet for folks trying it out, because then you don’t have to worry about getting the correct size. Or worse case scenario a metal ring can get stuck and have to be removed at a hospital. So grab something stretchy for your first try like any of these rings from Oxballs. Rings slow blood flow leaving the penis, which prolongs sensation and can also result in more powerful orgasms. Yes, please!
If you want a shape that’s gonna be helpful during a blow job look for rings that have a scoop shape like the Laid Perineum Ring, or the We Vibe Verge that vibrates! Those will let the stroking that is already happening focus more pressure on the perineum. The perineum is a great place to stimulate because it can add some pressure on the prostate from the outside of the body.
To make rings more comfortable to wear, add some lube to the inside of the ring before you slip it on. The lube will help it not catch on any skin or body hair. Just make sure your lube is compatible with your toy!
Prostate toys
The backdoor is the entry to the prostate if you’re someone that has a penis. This pleasure filled region has countless nerve endings and can make an explosion of exciting pleasure. The prostate is located an inch and a half inside the anus on the front wall (like you’re pointing your finger toward their belly button). Besides being biologically functional, the prostate also helps prolong sexual pleasure. Pressing on the prostate — either internally with penetration by finger, toy, or penis, or externally via the perineum (the taint).
Being aroused makes the prostate swell, so the more turned on you are before you even start poking around, the easier it’ll be to feel. Curved and firmer toys are the best bet to stimulating a prostate. Toys don’t need to be thrusted. Most just need to sit in the butt and the clenching of the muscles will push it into the prostate. Like the Aneros Helix, which is only about the size of a finger. If you want a vibrating option, the more affordable one would be the Curly Q Plug from NYTC. If you wanna invest, then the We Vibe Vector would be the best option. It’s adjustable, so you can customize the angle and pressure. The Vector is also waterproof, rechargeable, and app controlled!
Just pressure not what you’re looking for? The Tantus Pro Touch is my choice for small toy that easily can be used for beginners to practice thrusting. It’s small, thin, smooth and gradually gets bigger. Because the thickest part is at the base it doesn’t sit in the body, which makes it perfect to thrust in and out.
Now you just have to figure out what sensation you want to add to your blow job repertoire and grab your tools!
Toy recommendations can all be purchased at Spectrum Boutique.
All thoughts and opinions are my own. The links are affiliate links, if you buy something you won’t pay a penny more but I’ll get a small commission. Thanks!
